Strict Rules and Wooden Pillows

I am in Chai Ya for the last time before beginning my 10-day retreat at Suan Mokkh. I went in for registration early this morning, to further assure my place in the retreat and it is now official. I have a room complete with a reed mat on a concrete slab about three feet from the ground, a wooden pillow and a mosquito net. Besides sleeping and free time, everything done during the next ten days will be communal. Meals are at 8:00 a.m. and 12:30 p.m. in the dining hall; yoga, meditation and darma talks area also communal, but separated by sex, as are the dorms and eating areas (men on one side, women on the other).

The retreat is held not on the grounds of the wat, but on a separate forest monastery site across the road. The grounds consist of five dormitories which are concrete buildings divided into 2x20 ft concrete cells with windows and the afore mentioned 'bed'. There are three meditation halls, one is enclosed and the others appear to be open air. There are separate shower areas for men and women as well as hot spring areas, also separated by sex. Bathing suits are not allowed and women are expected to bath and utilize the hot springs in a sarong (Maybe it is just my lack of appropriate sarong fashioning knowledge, but if all I wear to the hot springs is a sarong, I have the very really potential of exposing a lot more than a bathing suit would. Maybe we are supposed to wear something else under it...?) There are also three ponds on the grounds as well as plenty of area to roam the grounds, but I haven't done much exploring yet because I needed to make it into town for a sarong (mine walked away on the beach) and a flashlight before the 4:00 p.m. welcome orientation.

When I first arrived, I was handed an orientation booklet explaining the practices and daily occurrences at Suan Mokkh; somewhat of a 'read this before you commit to staying here' booklet. We were also encouraged to read the rules of the retreat which include: refraining from speech; attending all discussions; signing up for and performing a daily chore; refraining from any reading or writing or listening to music (as well as almost anything else you can imagine besides thinking and bathing); refrain from eating anything besides the meals prepared for you; do not leave the grounds of the retreat; do not mix with people of the opposite sex; wear a sarong in the bathing areas and hot springs (be sure to have your shoulders - and everything else - covered at all times); dress in light, loose fitting clothing and keep your appearance neat and tidy; smile and approach every task with joy; and forget everything you've ever been taught about Buddhism and meditation and approach the lessons of Suan Mokkh with an open mind - A veritable Buddhist Boot Camp.

I was then directed to read the orientation task list, which consisting of an originally dizzying amount of things to do, but I found if I did one, went back to the board to read what I was to do next, I could get them all completed. I then sat down to read the booklet and fill out my registration form. After filling out the form, we were to have an 'interview' at the front of the hall.

The woman interviewer welcomed us and looked at our registration forms to see if we were beginner meditators and reminded us to forget everything and clear the mind for the teaching a Suan Mokkh, "because when the mind is not empty, there is no room for new information." She then talked about the importance of patience and perserverance in meditation likening meditation practice to a baby learning how to walk; "When a baby tries to stand, he will fall and cry, but he will try to stand again. The next time he falls, he does not cry, but he smiles, because he knows that he will try again. For the baby cry is cry and try is try. There is not much thinking. Eventually he learns to stand, to walk and then to run." She then talked about how we are the cause of our own suffering. She said that when someone criticizes us, we grab on to the words and allow them to frustrate us and cause pain, but if someone was speaking in another language and said the same thing, we would walk right on past, not knowing what they said, therefore not grabbing the words and allowing them to hurt us. She emphasized that it is not other people that hurt us, but that we hurt ourselves by allowing ourselves to be affected. She talked about how in daily life we allow often allow emotions to control our actions; "When you think negatively and you act negatively, what usually happens? Negative." And about how most people try to run away from negative emotions and feelings through drinking, drugs, eating, television, shopping, etc.; allowing the emotion to be stronger then their mind. She said that when we can learn to watch emotions arise in our mind and instead of running away from them we say, 'okay, you are there. I will study you' and the emotion runs away leaving us stronger than the emotion, instead of the other way around- When you don't allow yourself to immediatly react to the emotion elicited from an event, you are able to react a lot more clearly, calmly and positively. She emphasized over and over that learning to do this was hard work, but that it was important work. She signed off our sheets and said she hoped to see us in 10 days.

A lot of these concepts I have read about before, but somehow it was more powerful in this setting, coming from this woman. I was impressed and thought about how, while I am not allowed to write during the retreat, I will have to jot down brief notes to remember - I sense a lot of pearls of wisdom coming my way.

After the interview, I filled in my registration and paid my 1500 baht fee, handing all this in along with my passport. I then went to find my room, set up my mosquito net, returned to sign up for my daily chore (sweeping the walk outside the dining hall - some brave souls signed up for cleaning toilets), went to get my pillows and place them in the place in the meditation hall where I will be spending the next 10 days (I'd originally fancied a spot near the edge by the trees, but reminding myself that I was there NOT to be distracted, I reconsidered and placed my pillow on the row nearest to the center and where I could see the speaker without trying to see over someone else's head) and joined a group of fellow meditators to catch a santheaw back to Chai Ya to check email one last time and do my last minute shopping.

Signing off for 10 days. Wish me luck!