Single in Vietnam

Steven and I went to the market on Saturday to do a little gift shopping and he was swept into the first stall we passed by a threesome of attractive Vietnamese shop girls. While one of the girls fussed over him -asking for his preferences and his measurements, seeking out items to his liking, and watching admiringly as he tried on each new pair of pants - I sat on a small stool on the outside of the stall getting to know the rest of the staff.

One of the girls sitting on a stool behind me, leaned up against me and reaching over my shoulder, thrust the screen of her mobile phone in front of me.

"What does this mean?" she asked, pointing to the screen with a message in English stating, "Every day is one day closer to holding you in my arms." "What does 'every day is one day closer' mean?"

I tried to explain that, if she was going to see this guy on Friday, that after Monday, there was one less day until Friday, one less day until he could hold her. Then after Tuesday, it was yet one more day closer to Friday, and so on and so on. She smiled.

"Is this your boyfriend?" I asked.

"No!" She said, shocked. "He's just a friend."

I raised my eyebrows at her and said, "I think he likes you...".

She giggled and put the phone away.

We talked awhile about her job and life for a 26 year old woman in Vietnam in 2005. From there we, along with the girl across from me, launched into a conversation about dating and marriage, mostly with them doing the asking and me trying desperately to find answers that would make sense to them. "Is he your boyfriend?" they asked in a friendly and teasing manner. "How old is he?" "How old are you?" "How long have you known him?" "That long?" "Why aren't you married yet?" "Don't you love him?" "Don't you want to have babies?"

I tried to fend them off with the excuse that I was "too young," to which the obviously pregnant woman across from me rubbed her belly contentedly and said, "I am 28. This is my second baby."

I steered the conversation away from my unsatisfactory marital status for a few minutes asking about her little girl and her marriage, but the conversation came right back to me.

"Don't you miss him when you're gone?" "You should go home, get married and then come back and live in Vietnam," with approving nods in Steven's direction.

From where I sat, I could tell that Steven was not immune from the barrage either. "Is she your wife?" "Do you love her?" "Why aren't you married?" He weaseled off the hook with a quick "maybe, but not yet," while I sat trying to explain women's lib and feminist theory, concepts unknown to (or unappreciated by) these women in 21st century Vietnam. Finally appeased as I parroted Steven's concessions of "maybe, someday, but not yet," we chatted more about work and life in general.

While Steven paid for his purchases, the girl who had been helping him came over and took my hands in hers and proceeded to paint my nails a frosty translucent green.

Of all the overseas market experiences I've had, even though I was found to be sorely lacking in the feminine initiative department, that was my most enjoyable. It was nice being seen as a person and not just a customer and getting to know these women, even if for just a short period of time, on more than just a surface level.

As we walked away, the women made Steven promise to take me home and "give (me) a baby," and waved us off with happy smiles.