Vietnamese Pizza

I have decided to do a little culinary exploring in our neighborhood to scout out the best places within a few block radius for those evenings we don't feel like cooking or for a leisurely weekend lunch. A few days back, I had seen a some lunch displays out on the street one block behind our building, but when I walked down the alley (my new favorite route home - off the bus, through the park and up the alley), I didn't see any. So I decided to see if I could find the Vegetarian stand that Steven and I had seen last Friday on our way down Nguyen Trai, a street that runs perpendicular to ours and into the heart of Cholon.

When I got to the corner where I thought it was, it was not there, that corner was also home to a pizza restaurant and since it has been a long time since I’ve had pizza, I thought I would check it out. The restaurant was a small space set on the corner between two perpendicular streets, with large open “doors” on either side, a kitchen lining the back wall and a row of tables against the window opposite the kitchen partially occupied by a group of Vietnamese school girls. When I walked into the restaurant, I felt somewhat on display as I glanced around looking for some sort of menu. After about 30 seconds a waitress walked up to me and asked if she could help me. Not sure what was on the menu, I asked if I could have a small pizza with no meat and she confirmed my request with a yes and a smile. Having placed my order, I walked outside, sat down at one of tables next to the window, pulled out my Lonely Planet Vietnamese Phrase Book and turned to page 1.

After a minute or so, I felt a presence very close to me and I turned my head to see a man’s face about four inches from mine. I must have visibly pulled away because he immediately did the same before asking me if I wanted a one-hour cyclo tour around Cholon. "One hour. See temples. I take you." I smiled and shook my head. After about 10 "no's" and 60 seconds of head shaking, he finally walked away. A few pages on, I felt a tap on my arm and looked up to see a small, elderly Vietnamese woman holding out lottery tickets. I shook my head and smiled and she went away without further protest. Soon after, my pizza was delivered.

Before my pizza arrived, I wondered for a minute what it might have on it. I could pick off broccoli and black olives. Baby corn, I could handle. Mushrooms and spinach would be divine.. When it arrived, I was surprised to see pieces of strawberry and pineapple peeking out from under the cheese; My first fruit pizza.

Wondering where I was going to get my next lunch as I took a tentative bite of my pizza, I was shockingly surprised to find that it really wasn't that bad. I had never been a big fan the Hawaiian pizza with pineapple pieces that my brother has always enjoyed, but I presumed that it must be something like this, except with strawberries instead of ham.

As I was pondering my lunch, I again sensed a presence and looked up into the eyes of a short Vietnamese man whose facial features seemed to give away an underlying mental impairment. He stood and stared at me for a good minute and so I, not enjoying the feeling of being an exhibit in a zoo, stared right back. After a minute or so, he took out a 10,000d note and waved it at me pointing at my plate which had two slices left. Pretty sure that he was offering to buy a slice of my pizza and equally sure that that wasn't something that was normally done, one selling portions of one's lunch to a secondary market, I pointed him in the restaurant, my way of saying, "You want some pizza. Go buy your own pizza." His eyes followed my finger into the restaurant and then back to me, before shaking his finger at me and shaking his head. "No" his finger said, "I don't want to go in there. I want to give you THIS 10,000d note and have THAT piece of your pizza right there!" My finger responded, “Your pizza is in there.” And his responded, “No. I don’t want to go in THERE, I want to give you THIS money for THAT pizza.” This went on for another five or six rounds, him shaking the money and pointing at my pizza, me shaking my head and pointing into the restaurant. Finally, he followed my suggestion and walked into the restaurant.

I watched him walk into the restaurant and begin talking to one of the pizza chefs and pointing out at me. The chef looked out at me and back at him and gave him a questioning look and then of one of friendly amusement.

The man then came back and resumed his position a few feet in front of my table. At this point, my plate was empty. He pointed at me, then pointed at himself and then mimicked my pointing into the store. He repeated his sequence of gestures a second time for emphasis and then shook his money at me and pointed at my empty plate. At this point we were obviously attracting the attention of various people in the street.

"You told me , ‘Go in there! Go in there!’ But I didn’t want to go in there. I wanted to buy YOUR pizza." Unsure has how to gesture a response, I just looked at him with a shrug and pointed at my empty plate - that last gesture probably not so nice given the context of the conversation. He repeated his sequence of gestures one last time before giving me a big smile and walking off the way he came.