Vietnamese Weddings

Earlier this year, Steven and I were invited to attend the wedding of a co-worker of mine. Having not yet been to a Vietnamese wedding, despite seeing countless wedding parties mulling around outside hotels on any given night of the week for the past year and a half, I was quite excited. I asked some of my Vietnamese friends for their advice on Vietnamese wedding protocol and was basically told - "Just go, eat and leave" - which we've subsequently learned describes the experience at most Vietnamese wedding receptions. Upon further investigation, I did learn that there was much more ceremony involved, for which usually only the immediate family is involved.

Most modern urban Vietnamese wedding receptions are held in hotels on varying days of the week depending on which auspicious day was chosen for the couple by a previously consulted fortune teller. Wedding parties typically consist, not of the friends and family members of the bride and groom, but of hired models and dancers, who also double as the entertainment. Often times the bridesmaids will all be dressed in white dresses that look very much like wedding gowns. Before the wedding, the bride and groom stand outside of the reception hall and take pictures with each arriving group. There is also usually a table with a place for guests to leave envelopes of money as gift to the bride and groom.

Once everyone has arrived, the bride and groom and their family members are presented to the guests. After presentation of the couple and their families, some type of ceremony is performed for the family - which at the wedding we attended consisted of the bride and groom jointly pouring wine into a tower of dry-ice filled wine glasses, resulting in a cascading fountain of wine enveloped by a cloud of white mist, and then serving the wine to their family members. After the presentation of the wine, the wedding party/entertainers performed a dance number and then dinner was served.

Dinner consisted of a five course meal, each dish being served separately and cleared before the next dish was served. Servers not only served the food, but then continued to serve each guest in turn by filling up our bowls with each respective course. They also kept the water, wine and beer flowing, much to Steven's delight, who found that he never once had a glass less than half full during the two hour meal. During dinner, my friend, her new husband and their parents went around to each table with their wine glasses and professional photos were snapped as each table toasted the new couple. Once the last course was cleared, the guests started to clear out signaling the end of the festivities, so we also took our leave and headed home.

The following week, I browsed through the wedding photos, each almost identical to the next - bride and groom toasting friends at table, bride and groom toasting family at table, bride and groom toasting different friends at table, bride and groom standing outside posting with friends, bride and groom standing outside posing with family, etc. continuing for an entire album. No dancing, no cake. Just lots and lots of posed people.